Ashton Kutcher has proved his talents as a master thespian time and again as he's plumbed the depths of Kelso's dumbness on "That '70s Show." Still, he may want to think twice before rapping the skills of other actors, especially those who are far more successful than he is.

In response to criticism of his dramatic chops in "Guess Who," Demi Moore's doofier half tells W, "I'll watch a Keanu Reeves movie and I'll go, 'Wow. He's really not a great actor.' But the guy works really hard and keeps doing hit movies." The word you're searching for here? Whoa.

But what goes around comes around, and odds are good Lauren Bacall doesn't think much of Kutcher's résumé, filled as it is with small-screen experience.

"Actors today go into TV, which I don't consider has a lot to do with acting," the persnickety big-screen icon tells Radio Times magazine. "They only think of stardom. If you photograph well, that's enough." (Actually, Ashton does take a mighty purty picture.)

Bacall, 80, rails that we live "in an age of mediocrity," filled with "anorexic-looking" actresses with "minuscule talent." But the husky-voiced former Fancy Feast pitchwoman does have a bit of a soft spot for Hugh Grant, whom she calls "charming" and "marvelous" before cattily adding, "Not a great actor, but he doesn't have to be."

Also hopping on board the bashing bandwagon is Mickey Rourke, who is currently enjoying a career resurrection despite looking almost nothing like the guy who blindfolded and force-fed Kim Basinger in "9 ½ Weeks." The actor claims his descent into Hollywood purgatory has made him grow as a person.

"The little things don't bother me any more," he tells the Times of London. When pressed to elaborate, Rourke shows just how far he's come as he decries a certain publicity-hungry celebutante.

"It has to do with little tiny [bleep] that gets under your skin. Business stuff," the grizzled actor explains. "It's like ... the word 'actress'. You know. Cate Blanchett is an actress. Paris Hilton is not a [bleeping] ... I mean, how can they use that same [bleeping] word? You see what gets under my [bleeping] skin? You know? It's [bleep] like that. It would make me go off."

Mickey, who obviously missed Paris' fine improvisational skills as she played a rich girl dating a complete loser in her sex video, "One Night in Paris," will likely be impressed with her convincing portrayal of a brunette in the forthcoming comedy "Bottoms Up."